How to address Portland’s colossal budget woes

Portland’s James Beard Finalists

Congratulations to the four Portland restaurants and bars that were named finalists for this year’s James Beard awards — a prestigious national prize. [Eater Portland]

• Outstanding Restaurant: Coquine
• Outstanding Bar: Scotch Lodge
• Outstanding Bakery: JinJu Patisserie
• Best Chef, Northwest & Pacific: Ryan Roadhouse, Nodoguro

Regulating PFAS Chemicals

The state is planning to begin regulating forever chemicals, adding them as soon as next month to the official list of hazardous substances — in the first update since 2006. The six perfluoroalkyl and polyfluoroalkyl substances, or PFAS, are found in flame retardants, waterproof clothing, and cookware. The Legislature is also considering a ban on these chemicals for firefighting. [Oregon Capital Chronicle]

Last Call To Swim or Boat in Crater Lake

After this summer, construction will shutter the only path leading down to Crater Lake. That means no swimming or boat tours until 2029. [Oregonian]

Record for Shortest Park Trail

Lincoln City, Ore., once laid claim to having the shortest river in the world. But now officials there say they’ve built the world’s shortest park trail: 0.02 miles, or 135 feet. It would cost at least $14,000 to get the claim verified by the Guinness World Records — seven times the cost of the trail itself — so the record is unlikely to ever be made official. [KOIN]

In honor of 503 Day — the totally real holiday that City Cast Portland and this newsletter have created to celebrate our city — I solicited your ideas for the perfect Portland bumper sticker.

(By the way, you’re invited to our 503 Day block party on May 5.)

Here are the bumper ideas I’ve received so far:

Portland Is What We Make It.

“There's an art installation in my favorite coffee shop right now (wish I knew the artist's name!) and all the pieces are locally iconic images paired with the words ‘Portland is what we make it.’ That phrase has been stuck in my head for weeks as such a truthful, hopeful mantra. I would absolutely love it as a bumper sticker.” — Melody L

I’d Rather Be Slowly Consumed by Moss.

"I've always really appreciated seeing this bumper sticker around town. I don't have a photo of it on an actual car, but here it is. Maybe it's more of a February vibe, but it's a Portland vibe for sure.” — Annie

There’s No Crying in 503!

— Cait H. (submitted with the image of Tom Hanks in “A League of Their Own” at the moment he said the phrase that inspired this one.)

Fred, Carrie, Kyle, and Danzig

“That’s it. That’s the sticker. Either the words or their faces.” — Rob Cornelius

The Nation of St Johns: The End of the Line

“This bumper sticker needs an image that evokes the positive spin on it. It could have been the streetcar. Would have been great to revive the streetcar instead of pulling the tracks, but hey…” — Angela

Portland: We’re Trying

— Anonymous

Weird Vibes Only!

— Suzanne Donaldson

Make Portland Weird Again

“Not a great acronym, but it’s timely given the current MAGA/DOGE looniness.” — Brian Catterson

And good news: I’m still looking for ideas for the perfect Portland bumper sticker, so you can reply to this email, or send in your ideas with this link.)